So somehow we chose The Ugly Truth as our family movie this Christmas eve. Worst movie ever. It's one of those movies that tries to substitute vulgar stupidity for comedy. I keep asking myself how this movie ever got made in the first place. There's nothing in it but sex. No humor, no cleverness, no plot, no anything.
I am disgusted. I can't put my feelings into words on this but I am fully repulsed by this movie. Once again society lets me down.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
mindgames
I've been thinking a lot about faith and motives lately. Motives for love, for anger, pain, doing busywork, anything. Why do we do what we do? What are the true aspirations behind my actions?
Motivation can be a tough issue when it comes to your faith. Sometimes I worry that I cannot trust myself about anything, that I must have selfish motives at the core. It can shake up your whole world if you think on it hard enough. All that you do in life, that you believe to be out of faith: leading a Bible study, working with the homeless, missions trips... could it possibly all stem from selfish ambition? Do I even have any faith at all?
I've been reading Walking with God, it gets right at what I am talking about:
"I noticed that at the retreats we do, I am careful to be kind and attentive to people. Why is that? It could be love. But might it also be that I want to be seen as kind and attentive? I spent a lot of time working on this book. Why? Is it to bring the truth as best I can- or to impress you, to be thought well of, to avoid embarrassment?
...
We're faithful to attend church. Why? Is it because we are really worshiping God or because we know people will talk if we don't? We hate confrontation, and we never speak up in a meeting. Why? Is it humility, or is it so that everyone will like us? We want our children to behave in public. Why? Might it have something to do with the fact that they are a reflection on us? How about what we choose to wear- is it because we like it? Or because it will cause others to think we're rugged or really cool or sexy, and because we desperately want to fit in and we're scared to death of what others will say?
Everything we do has a motive behind it."
Part of me gets to thinking that what it comes down to is, do you trust yourself? Do I believe my own prayers asking for God to humble me, to let Him work through me, or am I really just seeking glory, respect, admiration, or whatever else I desire?
Then another part of me wants to say that this is where I think my error is. Do I trust myself? No, no, no, stupid. This is the wrong question to be asking. Try asking "Do I trust Him?" Even if your motives are selfish, and not out of love, He is beyond that. Trust- know- that He is greater than your motives. He surpasses your sins, no matter how huge and penetrating-even this, even the very essence of your personality. He can cut right through all of it, see you for who you truly are. Beneath your personality is a soul that can only have one change over the course of a lifetime- to accept Christ in submission.
When that last thought comes to my mind, I can't help but feel relief. I know that deep down He sees a heart that wants Him. That although in my actions there may be a portion of self-seeking, there is also a portion of Christ-seeking, of selflessness, and that second portion is the only one that the Father will ever care about.
Motivation can be a tough issue when it comes to your faith. Sometimes I worry that I cannot trust myself about anything, that I must have selfish motives at the core. It can shake up your whole world if you think on it hard enough. All that you do in life, that you believe to be out of faith: leading a Bible study, working with the homeless, missions trips... could it possibly all stem from selfish ambition? Do I even have any faith at all?
I've been reading Walking with God, it gets right at what I am talking about:
"I noticed that at the retreats we do, I am careful to be kind and attentive to people. Why is that? It could be love. But might it also be that I want to be seen as kind and attentive? I spent a lot of time working on this book. Why? Is it to bring the truth as best I can- or to impress you, to be thought well of, to avoid embarrassment?
...
We're faithful to attend church. Why? Is it because we are really worshiping God or because we know people will talk if we don't? We hate confrontation, and we never speak up in a meeting. Why? Is it humility, or is it so that everyone will like us? We want our children to behave in public. Why? Might it have something to do with the fact that they are a reflection on us? How about what we choose to wear- is it because we like it? Or because it will cause others to think we're rugged or really cool or sexy, and because we desperately want to fit in and we're scared to death of what others will say?
Everything we do has a motive behind it."
Part of me gets to thinking that what it comes down to is, do you trust yourself? Do I believe my own prayers asking for God to humble me, to let Him work through me, or am I really just seeking glory, respect, admiration, or whatever else I desire?
Then another part of me wants to say that this is where I think my error is. Do I trust myself? No, no, no, stupid. This is the wrong question to be asking. Try asking "Do I trust Him?" Even if your motives are selfish, and not out of love, He is beyond that. Trust- know- that He is greater than your motives. He surpasses your sins, no matter how huge and penetrating-even this, even the very essence of your personality. He can cut right through all of it, see you for who you truly are. Beneath your personality is a soul that can only have one change over the course of a lifetime- to accept Christ in submission.
When that last thought comes to my mind, I can't help but feel relief. I know that deep down He sees a heart that wants Him. That although in my actions there may be a portion of self-seeking, there is also a portion of Christ-seeking, of selflessness, and that second portion is the only one that the Father will ever care about.
Friday, September 18, 2009
That'll be the day...
So I hit somebody on my bike for the first time today. It's been a long time coming, honestly sometimes I think these people are trying to get hit. This guy, for example, saw me coming as he was crossing the street, then looked away. I rang my sweet bike bell at him, and he then did sort of a double take, and then at the last second he jumps INTO my path. I kind of shouldered him, his drink went flying, and he sort of in panic and in his startled state yelled something along the lines of "Oh man sorry I'm an idiot."
At some point along the way my short fuse was lit, and I was unable to extinguish it in time. Rather than ask him if we was ok, or apologize for crashing into him, I told him in a very angry and sarcastic tone "Just make sure you look before you cross the street," and then I guess I didn't feel satisfied enough with that OH so witty reply, so I added on a "You f***in' idiot." Classy.
Now I come to what I learned today. I learned that I am not always the loving person I wish I could be (not exactly breaking news). I could have reacted in so many better ways; I could have at least apologized for the accident (regardless of who was at fault), or I could have made sure he wasn't hurt, or I could have said "it's fine, it happens" but instead I publicly mocked him for making a mistake (of which we are all guilty) and then I insulted him with a 4th grade level insult.
The point I'm trying to make here is that my reaction was the opposite of what I would like it to be. That needs to change. And what I can't stop thinking about is what the world would be like if everybody (including myself) was slow to anger. Rather than seeking "justice" for being wronged, if everyone had forgiveness as their predisposition...
That'll be the day.
At some point along the way my short fuse was lit, and I was unable to extinguish it in time. Rather than ask him if we was ok, or apologize for crashing into him, I told him in a very angry and sarcastic tone "Just make sure you look before you cross the street," and then I guess I didn't feel satisfied enough with that OH so witty reply, so I added on a "You f***in' idiot." Classy.
Now I come to what I learned today. I learned that I am not always the loving person I wish I could be (not exactly breaking news). I could have reacted in so many better ways; I could have at least apologized for the accident (regardless of who was at fault), or I could have made sure he wasn't hurt, or I could have said "it's fine, it happens" but instead I publicly mocked him for making a mistake (of which we are all guilty) and then I insulted him with a 4th grade level insult.
The point I'm trying to make here is that my reaction was the opposite of what I would like it to be. That needs to change. And what I can't stop thinking about is what the world would be like if everybody (including myself) was slow to anger. Rather than seeking "justice" for being wronged, if everyone had forgiveness as their predisposition...
That'll be the day.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
ACfreakingF
Something has changed in ACF. It's like the church has come alive. I really have never experienced anything like this to this point in my life... at the very least I haven't been able to fully grasp what is happening the way that I am right now.
I do not know the specific cause for this. ACF just gets it all of a sudden. It's like everything has been made new.
The worship of the church as a whole is just real, there's no other word for it. I see new faces everywhere, and to be honest it is amazing. Last year we just didn't have a lot of newcomers, and it was discouraging to me. Now it's the complete opposite- I'm so totally encouraged by how many new people we have, I'm just worried I won't have time to meet them all! I say all of this even before small groups have been formed, before we've even really had a discussion. God is moving in ACF, and I for one cannot wait for what is in store. I am a little sad that I'm leaving in the spring.
Jesus, I pray that you keep your hand over ACF, especially on the leadership. A fellowship can only go as far as the belonging men and women are willing to take it; give us the desire to do great things. Move our lives and the lives of others through us.
I do not know the specific cause for this. ACF just gets it all of a sudden. It's like everything has been made new.
The worship of the church as a whole is just real, there's no other word for it. I see new faces everywhere, and to be honest it is amazing. Last year we just didn't have a lot of newcomers, and it was discouraging to me. Now it's the complete opposite- I'm so totally encouraged by how many new people we have, I'm just worried I won't have time to meet them all! I say all of this even before small groups have been formed, before we've even really had a discussion. God is moving in ACF, and I for one cannot wait for what is in store. I am a little sad that I'm leaving in the spring.
Jesus, I pray that you keep your hand over ACF, especially on the leadership. A fellowship can only go as far as the belonging men and women are willing to take it; give us the desire to do great things. Move our lives and the lives of others through us.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Year in review?
I am at a standstill. Writer's block... or I guess speaker's block. My pastor here in Naples asked me to speak at college group this Thursday. Simple. Just talk about what God has taught me this year.
Right, so...
sooooo.....
What have I learned? Maybe it's because I am 1000 miles away from where I spent the year, but I cannot remember learning much. I remember relying on God a lot to get me through marathon training. I remember learning how important it is to be joyful, and learning how to live in such a way that I will remain in joy. And I remember learning (that hard way) to look to Him for hope, and not looking to anything else.
Now, I don't want to downplay how important those lessons are, because honestly I am an exponentially stronger person having learned them. It's just that I feel like I should be learning more. I feel like I should be growing faster... but should I? I heard it said once that spiritual growth is not something that can be measured, as it is too gradual, and that it cannot always be seen in others. But what about yourself? Should I be able to see myself growing more than I already can?
I am writing this out because it is something that has frustrated me for a long time. And obviously it is frustrating because there is no answer. There's no standard against which I can compare myself. There's no 12 steps to becoming a fully matured Christian. Which leads me to thinking... is there such a thing as a fully matured Christian? I am leaning towards (aka I am certain that) no, there is not. Nobody has mastered it, and nobody ever will.
So maybe now I should stop worrying about how fast I progress.
That was easy.
:-)
Right, so...
sooooo.....
What have I learned? Maybe it's because I am 1000 miles away from where I spent the year, but I cannot remember learning much. I remember relying on God a lot to get me through marathon training. I remember learning how important it is to be joyful, and learning how to live in such a way that I will remain in joy. And I remember learning (that hard way) to look to Him for hope, and not looking to anything else.
Now, I don't want to downplay how important those lessons are, because honestly I am an exponentially stronger person having learned them. It's just that I feel like I should be learning more. I feel like I should be growing faster... but should I? I heard it said once that spiritual growth is not something that can be measured, as it is too gradual, and that it cannot always be seen in others. But what about yourself? Should I be able to see myself growing more than I already can?
I am writing this out because it is something that has frustrated me for a long time. And obviously it is frustrating because there is no answer. There's no standard against which I can compare myself. There's no 12 steps to becoming a fully matured Christian. Which leads me to thinking... is there such a thing as a fully matured Christian? I am leaning towards (aka I am certain that) no, there is not. Nobody has mastered it, and nobody ever will.
So maybe now I should stop worrying about how fast I progress.
That was easy.
:-)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
The Yanks are coming...
Endeared reader,
You are cordially invited to the first annual celebration of Colin Reale's blog. Festivities will include reading Colin's blog, and that's it. Enjoy the party.
Your fondest companion,
Scoops Callahan.
So this is my blog. I don't think I will update this very often, nor do I expect that anyone will read it very often. I really have nothing to write about at the moment that wouldn't involve exploring some very disturbing truths about the female psyche, so instead I think I will explain the meaning of the title of this blog.
Another world is possible.
Well, that implies that there is something seriously wrong with this current world. You don't have to agree with my opinion, but if you can't see that there is an extreme imbalance in the way that the world is set up then I think you need to have your eyes checked. I sit here in wonderful air conditioning typing on my personal laptop, with the television on in the background. I have had as much food as I could possibly want all week. I just drank clean water. How many people in the world could say that? What percentage of the world is as fortunate as I?
I have been given too much. But what I really want is for EVERYBODY to be given just enough. I hate the fact that people out there are in need, while we, having the resources to give them what they need, do nothing.
This is why I want another world. I want everything to change. I have had the best of what this world has to offer my entire life and I can tell you that it is SUPERFLUOUS. That's right, superfluous. The greatest joys in life aren't from things that you can buy but rather from relationships (with God, others, or yourself). I have the arrogance to have luxury, to have unnecessary things that don't even make me happy, when there are people (LOTS OF THEM) who can't even feed themselves!
This is why I want to do missions work. This is why I so often ponder the rich young ruler*, and why I pray for the guts to follow through on what Jesus asked him to do. I believe that to whom much is given, much will be expected**, and I believe that every kid out there deserves to be cared for.
I will leave you with some lines from the very song (The Revolution by Tree63) that got me started thinking about all this in the first place:
Who will feed the hungry if we don’t?
There’s people losing their lives 'cause we won’t.
If we believe but we still do not follow,
Then maybe we don’t believe.
If we could only love this world like we've been loved
Then all the world would know what love is really made of.
We live in plenty, there is more than enough
for what the world needs, but not for our greed.
Full stomachs and both parents and a church that acts like it really believes that the Good News is good news for everybody everywhere…
(^^^ Is it really so much to ask for?^^^)
Peace out, suckas!
*Matthew 19:16-26
** Luke 12:48
You are cordially invited to the first annual celebration of Colin Reale's blog. Festivities will include reading Colin's blog, and that's it. Enjoy the party.
Your fondest companion,
Scoops Callahan.
So this is my blog. I don't think I will update this very often, nor do I expect that anyone will read it very often. I really have nothing to write about at the moment that wouldn't involve exploring some very disturbing truths about the female psyche, so instead I think I will explain the meaning of the title of this blog.
Another world is possible.
Well, that implies that there is something seriously wrong with this current world. You don't have to agree with my opinion, but if you can't see that there is an extreme imbalance in the way that the world is set up then I think you need to have your eyes checked. I sit here in wonderful air conditioning typing on my personal laptop, with the television on in the background. I have had as much food as I could possibly want all week. I just drank clean water. How many people in the world could say that? What percentage of the world is as fortunate as I?
I have been given too much. But what I really want is for EVERYBODY to be given just enough. I hate the fact that people out there are in need, while we, having the resources to give them what they need, do nothing.
This is why I want another world. I want everything to change. I have had the best of what this world has to offer my entire life and I can tell you that it is SUPERFLUOUS. That's right, superfluous. The greatest joys in life aren't from things that you can buy but rather from relationships (with God, others, or yourself). I have the arrogance to have luxury, to have unnecessary things that don't even make me happy, when there are people (LOTS OF THEM) who can't even feed themselves!
This is why I want to do missions work. This is why I so often ponder the rich young ruler*, and why I pray for the guts to follow through on what Jesus asked him to do. I believe that to whom much is given, much will be expected**, and I believe that every kid out there deserves to be cared for.
I will leave you with some lines from the very song (The Revolution by Tree63) that got me started thinking about all this in the first place:
Who will feed the hungry if we don’t?
There’s people losing their lives 'cause we won’t.
If we believe but we still do not follow,
Then maybe we don’t believe.
If we could only love this world like we've been loved
Then all the world would know what love is really made of.
We live in plenty, there is more than enough
for what the world needs, but not for our greed.
Full stomachs and both parents and a church that acts like it really believes that the Good News is good news for everybody everywhere…
(^^^ Is it really so much to ask for?^^^)
Peace out, suckas!
*Matthew 19:16-26
** Luke 12:48
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